Tina Fey

It’s just such a tangled-up issue, the way women present themselves [in comedy]-whether or not they choose to put their thumbs in their panties on the cover of Maxim and judge each other back and forth on it. It’s a complicated issue, and we didn’t go much further on saying anything other than to say, ‘Yeah, it’s a complicated issue and we’re all kind of figuring it out as we go.’

I was the editor of the school newspaper and in drama club and choir, so I was not a popular girl in the traditional sense, but I think I was known for being relatively scathing.

I’m married, you know. I love my husband and I have a child.

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Ladies gotta say no to their husbands at the movies. They gotta say: ‘No, we are watching back-to-back cancer movies. And then this movie about a cat.’

I am extremely square and obedient in nature!

I’m tryna stay way away from her. It comes from experience, Im at a point in my life where I feel like Ive done that. At some point you cant drown yourself in that, you have to grow. If I ran into a chick like Kat Stacks I would know what it was.

Wafah Dufour bin Laden, niece of Osama bin Laden has signed a contract to star in a reality show…called Skating with the Nieces of Terrorists.

I go by my instincts. It’s whatever I feel in the scene in the moment.

When faced with sexism or ageism or lookism or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: ‘Is this person in between me and what I want to do?’ If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.

I dreamed of being an actress when I was a little kid because you don’t know then that the writer writes everything the actor is saying. But as I got older, I got into college and became more aware that writing is another option, and I started getting into it, too.

Mary Tyler Moore was a working woman whose story lines were not always about dating and men. They were about work friendships and relationships, which is what I feel my adult life has mostly been about.

I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people.

When I’m playing a character, I use the American accent. But when I go back to England, I just glide right back into Englishness immediately. Every actor uses a dialect coach. Every actor, and if they say they don’t, they’re lying. Everybody does, yeah. You don’t want to worry about it. You have someone listening out to check that you’re not straying.

I try to keep a low profile in general. Not with my art, but just as a person.

Ignorance is bliss? That’s bull, far as I’m concerned. Because I was making a half a cent a side – one penny for a record. It’s like building buses, for example. If you built this bus for me and I didn’t know anything about it, you could charge me whatever I’d pay for it. Now, which one of us is crazy? Me. And that’s the way they did me on the records. But I don’t fault them for it, because if you don’t know, you don’t know. It took me to learn.

I didn’t know how to throw a punch – why would I? Who knows how to throw a punch? Now I do it all the time, and it makes me feel strong.

My daughter is in love with Adele. She listens to her every day. To see someone with that much passion and soul move a 9-year-old is amazing and it’s magical.

I’ve already done so much. The rest is just gravy, it’s like frosting on the cake

And if you’re thinking, But hold on John, what if I’m an asshole who couldn’t give a shit about America’s hungry families or the long-term viability of life on Earth? Well, first, let me say, Mr. Trump, thank you so much for taking the time to watch this show tonight. It’s lovely to have you with us.

Presley was definitely a great inspiration to every guy who ever had a hard-on in the whole of the Western world, I should think. He shook everybody well and true, and we just kept on shakin’. But he started it.