Tina Fey

A lot of times we talk about the politics of it, the unfairness of it, which is all true, but I think it’s clearer to people when you go, ‘Hey, that hurts my feelings.’

I don’t like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don’t think that fighting and passion are the same thing.

Left to my own devices, I dress like I’m here to service your aquarium.

I think for women especially, you need to have a plan. I need to have some other ways to generate income, so I don’t have to stretch my face or lift the top of my head with surgery or something.

Do the NBC bigheads really pay attention to these message boards? Um, I don’t know if they read the message boards. I hope so, because I write fifty to a thousand fake posts a week, mostly, uh, saying that I’m really good and that no else is as good as me. So, I hope they listen to that because I’m trying to get a raise.

This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in 10,000 pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over 14,000 dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.

I think too many people look at the arts with a religious outlook. Arts, music, singing and performing, it’s all make-believe.

Actors are an insecure breed. It’s hard to have your career depend upon other people’s opinions of what you do.

I want a man who’s kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?

I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria’s Secret. There would be no Dior.

There’s nothing wrong with getting 20 million viewers, but I think there’s something wrong with aiming at getting 20 million viewers, because then you have to take away all the things that will offend, and you’ll end up with something so anodyne that it just washes over you for half an hour. I imagine The Office was also one of the most hated shows on television, that some people passionately hated it. But that’s better, for me. David Bowie said that after Let’s Dance, which is his biggest album ever and obviously not his best, he was doing these stadium gigs and looked out at the audience and suddenly realized that he had Phil Collins fans instead of Iggy Pop fans. And that’s how I feel about everything I do: I want Iggy Pop fans.

If a few companies were less greedy, the people at the bottom woud have a lot more.

I believe ‘ye’ is the most commonly used word in the Bible, and in the Bible it means ‘you’.

Confidence is everything in this business.

We need to stop talking about whether women are funny. And we need to acknowledge that black people are funnier than white people. Let’s discuss that.

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math.

My mission is to let all women know you don’t have to be like Paris Hilton and shoot a sex tape and three weeks later you have a reality show. You don’t (have) to be like Kim and shoot a sex tape and do Playboy and become this so-called superstar from having a sex tape. Just focus on your talent, the positive things of life that you do!

I don’t think Disney gets enough credit as a director. When people talk about their favourite directors of all time, Disney has some dope movies under his belt too.

When I was a kid, I’d be there in the stands thinking: ‘Come on Wolves, do it for me!’….And here I am again: ‘Come on Wolves,’ pleading with a borrowed laptop!

Cotton Owens was leading and daddy was second. They came up on me and I moved over to let them pass. Cotton went on, but daddy bumped me in the rear and my car went right into the wall.

When you are followed constantly by fanatic fans,you try to eliminate the times you come up against them.That’s why I hide myself sometimes.