Tina Fey

I was the editor of the school newspaper and in drama club and choir, so I was not a popular girl in the traditional sense, but I think I was known for being relatively scathing.

I must say, as a point of pride, that I didn’t get the job because I was a woman. I got the job because Amy Poehler moved to New York with the Upright Citizens Brigade and I was the next best thing.

I have Faith Popcorn on retainer. I’m sorry-what I meant to say is that I have popcorn stuck in my retainer.

I think the world has too many actresses.

How do you expect me to see your nasty-looking eye ball if you don’t look straight ahead?

I dreamed of being an actress when I was a little kid because you don’t know then that the writer writes everything the actor is saying. But as I got older, I got into college and became more aware that writing is another option, and I started getting into it, too.

And I always laugh at that, because I think I’ve always been doing what I want to do since Day 1.

Ballet: Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.

Yeezus was extremely purposeful. And what came from Yeezus: Paparazzi are nicer to me. The entire fashion industry is nicer to me.

Twas the nizzle before chrismizzle and all through the hizzle.

I think, really, what it was was that I was raised in a very gray Britain in the 1950s. We were pummeled during the war. A lot of our cities were wrecked and smashed up and as we came out of that, we were baby boomers there; we didn’t have the candy apple red; we didn’t have the big chrome decals; we didn’t have Elvis. So what we did, we came out ferocious. We came out kicking and spitting and it was a reaction to the gray and depletion of our islands….

You want us as muses because you fear us as artists.

I don’t want to be a babe. I don’t want vanity to ever get in the way, because I think to maintain that, you have to be aware of yourself all the time, and that gets in the way of acting. My job’s not to be the beautiful person. My job is to be the best actor I can be.

I’m always shocked by the people who I’m attracted to. It’s always completely random. I generally like people who are a bit crazy but yeah, that’s pretty much my only prerequisite.

I do worry – a lot.

Love should be an inspiration, not an obligation.

By the time you are in your 40s, what you want to wear and what you think is sexy is not always, like, for another person. It’s what makes you feel good.

We aren’t cool and never will be.

I’m not Sammy Glick. I’ve never killed anyone. I don’t have to. I’m too talented.

There’s so many parts of your life, you know? People say that you don’t get any better after the age of about forty or something like that, as a performer. I find all that to be a misconception. I don’t feel bad about the way I present stuff. The calendar and the mirror – they’re bastards.

A man becomes as attractive as an attractive woman when he becomes successful and is publicly noted. Power’s an aphrodisiac.