Tina Fey

I think part of picking where you live in New York is accepting who you are. Really looking at yourself and going, ‘Yeah, I’m not cool enough for the West Village.’

When choosing sexual partners, remember: talent is not sexually transmittable.

If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the Internet, and you can find a lot of people there who don’t like you.

Do your thing and don’t care if they don’t like it.

I say if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.

My favorite day at ’30 Rock’ is Thursday when the show airs. At lunch, we screen the episodes. For everyone to watch together, to see the stuff we all worked on, to hear the crew laugh – it’s great fun.

I’ve had tinnitus for about ten years, and since I started protecting my ears it hasn’t got any worse – touch wood.

I quite liked Sharkey and George and then there was a cartoon with rapper MC Hammer in it – Hammertime – I loved that cartoon, it was genius! They don’t make cartoons like that anymore.

Prison sentences are a lot like penises – if they’re used correctly, even a short one can do the trick… is a rumor I have heard.

You know, people can’t fall in love with me just because I’m good at what I do.

There’s probably not a crew chief out there who hasn’t tried something that seemed like a good idea.

It’s just such a tangled-up issue, the way women present themselves [in comedy]-whether or not they choose to put their thumbs in their panties on the cover of Maxim and judge each other back and forth on it. It’s a complicated issue, and we didn’t go much further on saying anything other than to say, ‘Yeah, it’s a complicated issue and we’re all kind of figuring it out as we go.’

To a smart girl men are no problem – they’re the answer.

I find Hollywood really toxic.

The greatest Rock’n’Roll drummer of all time was John Bonham who did things that nobody had ever even thought possible before with the drum kit. And also the greatest sound out of his drums – they sounded enormous, and just one bass drum. So fast on it that he did more with one bass drum than most people could do with three, if they could manage them. And he had technique to burn and fantastic power and tremendous feel for rock’n’roll. “When the levee breaks” is the archetypal heavy drum sound – it’s never been bettered – it’s like a steamroller, enormous bass drum. Simple but takes feel.

The stuff I find attractive in women I always regret finding attractive. I always like a kind of madness in a woman… I like it when they hate me right from the beginning.

My career has been a combination of hard work and timing. Working with Stevie Wonder at the Kennedy Center Honors was timing. The Tonight Show was timing. Carnegie Hall, that was timing. My marriage was timing. I was ready, I wanted to know what it was like.

I realized what Led Zeppelin was about around the end of our first U.S. tour. We started off not even on the bill in Denver, and by the time we got to New York we were second to Iron Butterfly, and they didn’t want to go on!

I don’t believe in perfection. I don’t think there is such a thing. But the energy of wanting things to be great is a perfectionist energy.

Most of the time, people will just pass me by, or if they do realize, they’ll say something like, “My girlfriend said that was you, but I didn’t believe her.”

I don’t know how I feel right now.