Tina Fey

At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment.

In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant ‘Irish people.’

My favorite day at ’30 Rock’ is Thursday when the show airs. At lunch, we screen the episodes. For everyone to watch together, to see the stuff we all worked on, to hear the crew laugh – it’s great fun.

Say Yes. You’ll figure it out afterward.

People will say, ‘Oh, fashion magazines are so bad, they’re giving girls a negative message’-but we’re also the fattest country in the world, so it’s not like we’re all looking at fashion magazines and not eating.

[While Amy Poehler and I were doing press for Sisters,] every single interviewer asked, ‘Isn’t this an amazing time for women in comedy?’ People really wanted us to be openly grateful-‘Thank you so much!’-and we were like, ‘No, it’s a terrible time. If you were to really look at it, the boys are still getting more money for a lot of garbage, while the ladies are hustling and doing amazing work for less.’

I couldn`t stand that my husband was being unfaithful. I am Raquel Welch – understand?

When choosing sexual partners, remember: talent is not sexually transmittable.

I feel like I needed a balance. I don’t want to forget about my personal life and spending time with myself.

I think we’re a band with a lot of history now so it’s nice to come up with something that doesn’t have any history at all.

Even though the album is an endangered species, can we try and make a coherent and good one, even if it’s like making a horse and cart at a Nascar conference?

Working for me is like a gift!

[On strange stories written about him] Recently a magazine had on the cover that I was pregnant. I was just like, “Wow!” It was without a hint of irony. I didn’t know what to make of that one. I saw a couple of comments under the article saying, “That’s why he always wears jackets. He always wears layers to hide it.

Lipgloss is my calling!

Besides, I’m a gypsy at heart and I like to travel around.

Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe write some really great stuff – stuff that would put Oscar Wilde to shame. If the Pet Shop Boys ever wanted a third member, I’d be there.

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.

Take it easy, be a sport. Just remeber life is short.

I’m my worst critic and I always want to give people something better than I gave them before.

Ladies gotta say no to their husbands at the movies. They gotta say: ‘No, we are watching back-to-back cancer movies. And then this movie about a cat.’

I’ve already done so much. The rest is just gravy, it’s like frosting on the cake