Tina Fey

Nothing is creepier than a bunch of adults being very quiet.

I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.

My favorite day at ’30 Rock’ is Thursday when the show airs. At lunch, we screen the episodes. For everyone to watch together, to see the stuff we all worked on, to hear the crew laugh – it’s great fun.

There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a socialist.

If you’re an actor and you don’t get cast in stuff a lot, then put together a show or hold play-reading nights at your apartment. Make your own opportunities.

I don’t want to be somebody else.

City Action. Al is a true Damon Runyon character

Let’s start with the church. As you know, it’s my background, it’s a natural setting for me and it’s definitely my roots.

(On his feud with rapper Ja Rule) Right now he’s desperate. He should be talking about me, not Eminem and (Dr. Dre) and everybody else. He’ll lose, he knows that. The route that he has to take is the “I’m a mad gangsta” hardcore route, and ain’t nobody gonna believe him.

Oh God, don’t make me come across as a moaner. I think it’s unacceptable to moan about anything when you’re lucky enough to do what I do. What I’m trying to say is I’m more settled now. The thirties have calmed me down. I know who my real friends are, I know what I want to do. In your twenties, you just do everything. It’s just overload all the time. In the thirties, you learn that it’s OK to go to bed early if you want.

Of course it scored well! It was all fags and old people!

My dream job is being a pianist.

We were all on this ship in the sixties, our generation, a ship going to discover the New World. And the Beatles were in the crow’s nest of that ship.

We’re still trying to break records on the twentieth anniversary of Live Aid. I’ve just heard Bob Geldof has put Phil Collins on a jet to Philadelphia. There’s nothing going on there, we just don’t want him around this year. No I’m joking, of course we didn’t put him on a jet. We stuck him in a catapult. To be fair, he didn’t get very far. Although it worked in rehearsals when we used it on Chris De Burgh. I could do a whole routine about injuring Phil f**king Collins.

You shouldn’t throw stones if you live in a glass house and if you got a glass jaw, you should watch yo mouth: cause I’ll break yo face.

A little bit independent in your walk. A little bit independent in your talk. There’s nothing like you in Paris or New York. You’re awfully easy on the eyes.

If you’re a singer, you can never say this is where the voyage ends, the job is never done. Once you have got it, you cannot sit on it. I have to try and change the landscape, whatever it is. I have to find a new place to ply my trade, to get lost in another place, and locate myself again. I’m an older man now and so it’s even more important.

We’re not going out there with somebody pretending to be Freddie Mercury. We are what we are now; we’re not what we were then, we’re just going out, playing our songs.

Sarah Palin has been hired back by Fox News, and she only left five months ago. She has now effectively quit quitting. She can’t even commit to being uncommitted.

Whenever I have bid a hasty goodbye to a loved one, I’ve always made sure that my record collection was safely stored away in the boot of the car….Sometimes the parting was so fast, I was not able to get them into alphabetical order, but I still got away with my records, that was essential.

[On trying to get out of the part of June Carter Cash in Walk the Line] I called my attorney. My agent. My manager. I said “You know y’all, you’re serious about this? I’m really.. I gotta get out of this. Like can’t they call ‘Leann Rimes’? I mean she’s good.