Tina Fey

We’re all comedy fans in my family. My parents mainly wouldn’t let me watch stuff that was either annoying to them, or just garbage. My dad wouldn’t let us watch ‘The Flintstones’ if he was home, because he said it was a rip-off of ‘The Honeymooners’. But he would let us stay up really late in the summer and watch old ‘Honeymooners’.

A coworker at SNL dropped an angry c-bomb on me and i had the weirdest reaction. To my surprise, I blurted, ‘No. You don’t get to call me that. My parents love me. I’m not some Adult Child of an Alcoholic that’s going to take that shit.’

How do you expect me to see your nasty-looking eye ball if you don’t look straight ahead?

I don’t enjoy any kind of danger or volatility. I don’t have that kind of ‘I love the bad guys’ thing. No, no thank you. I like nice people.

I’m not a mean person, but I have a capacity for it.

Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.

We’re all comedy fans in my family. My parents mainly wouldn’t let me watch stuff that was either annoying to them, or just garbage. My dad wouldn’t let us watch ‘The Flintstones’ if he was home, because he said it was a rip-off of ‘The Honeymooners’. But he would let us stay up really late in the summer and watch old ‘Honeymooners’.

I was advised by an American agent when I was about 19 to change my surname.

Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying “like” all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.

When you’re thirty-five, you can’t take as much booze … and I always got a little violent on drink…So it was kind of self-destructive suicide side of me, which is resolving itself for the better, I believe, because I never enjoyed it…

Fame always brings loneliness. Success is as ice cold and lonely as the North Pole.

Everyone has an idea that they think would be a great movie. Everyone has a cousin who they think you should work with. Everyone has a warped vision of Hollywood and what success in Hollywood is like. That you love cocaine and that you spend every night in orgies with models. If only it were true.

And I always laugh at that, because I think I’ve always been doing what I want to do since Day 1.

If I didn’t do what I do, I wouldn’t be as young as I am.

[on her role in “Star Wars: Episode II”] That was easy, I just stood by Natalie Portman looking very serious.

You haven’t been around here long, have you.

I’m always shocked by the people who I’m attracted to. It’s always completely random. I generally like people who are a bit crazy but yeah, that’s pretty much my only prerequisite.

I have to say, I’m really not that attractive. Until I met my husband, I could not get a date.

Part of the early Who career was all about knocking people’s confidences out.

I like to audition for good projects because if it’s a good project, it’s an opportunity to get in front of a casting director.

If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the Internet, and you can find a lot of people there who don’t like you.