Tina Fey

I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society… unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool.

Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.

I like to write about women, not so much about the way they relate to men, but about the way they relate to each other.

Gravity is nominated for best film. It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.

This is what I tell young women who ask me for career advice. People are going to try to trick you. To make you feel that you are in competition with one another. “You’re up for a promotion. If they go for a woman, it’ll be between you and Barbara.” Don’t be fooled. You’re not in competition with other women. You’re in competition with everyone.

We need to stop talking about whether women are funny. And we need to acknowledge that black people are funnier than white people. Let’s discuss that.

Acting is really about showing up that day and telling the writers what you feel like saying.

Anthony Weiner’s alter ego is a Bolivian action hero slash porn star. ‘Danger… is my user name.’

I don’t want to be somebody else.

I found that the more truthful and vulnerable I was, the more empowering it was for me.

I take conscious breaks for myself ’cause I like to rejuvenate and get my creative juices flowing. I also like to take my time with my creativity; I think it’s important.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve really worked toward balancing my life out more, having a little bit more time with friends, family and my boyfriend. There was a period of time when they were way down the list. It was all about music and touring and if everything fell by the wayside, so be it.

I decided I am not going to say things I do not mean anymore.

Abstaining from sex had to zen my body. I ain’t giving, so don’t ask, I don’t lend my body. He gotta be king status to get in my body.

When humor works, it works because it’s clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.

[on the death of Stan Lee] I owe it all to you, Rest in Peace Stan

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares?

Bitches don’t know if they wanna hate you or be you. Lemme change that. Bitches hate you cuz know they’ll never be you.

The only way I could get comfortable around people was to make them laugh. I was an obedient girl, and humor was my one form of rebellion. I used comedy to deflect. Like, ‘Hey, check out my zit!’ – you know, making fun of yourself before someone else has a chance to.

There are always generic terms like ‘Americana’, but there are no boundaries as to where it can go.

To rock isn’t necessarily to cavort.