Tina Fey

Yeah, it’s tough being smart and sexy, too. I have to say, I’m really not that attractive. Until I met my husband, I could not get a date. I promise you it’s true. My husband Jeff Richmond saw a diamond in the rough and took me in.

I’m not a mean person, but I have a capacity for it. I have the biting comment formed somewhere in the back of my head – like it’s in captivity. Sometimes people expect that I’m going to be tough. It’s not a bad situation. People treat you better. People are on time.

I’m more of a writer than an actor, and I used to say that I’m mostly an improviser, though I haven’t improvised in awhile.

I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people.

We need to stop talking about whether women are funny. And we need to acknowledge that black people are funnier than white people. Let’s discuss that.

The only way I could get comfortable around people was to make them laugh. I was an obedient girl, and humor was my one form of rebellion. I used comedy to deflect. Like, ‘Hey, check out my zit!’ – you know, making fun of yourself before someone else has a chance to.

Take it easy, be a sport. Just remeber life is short.

I look like an angel, but I can play the bitch.

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Contrary to popular myth, I didn’t just hatch out of an eagle’s nest, circa One Million Years B.C., clad in a doe-skin bikini. In fact, I was more surprised than anyone to find myself on location in such an exotic setting, high atop a volcanic mountain in the Canary Islands! With the release of that famous movie poster, in one fell swoop, everything in my life changed and everything about the real me was swept away. All else would be eclipsed by this bigger-than-life sex symbol.

The whole idea of music, from the beginning of time, was for people to be happy.

Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.

I’m starting to know how the world works a bit, and I’m learning more and more that the only thing that matters is what happens between ‘action’ and ‘cut’. I’m allowing myself to be a bit more selfish, for want of a better word, just that it’s OK to focus and that I don’t have to be nice to everybody.

When was the last time you saw a musical about people at war with each other?

The postman wants an autograph. The cab driver wants a picture. The waitress wants a handshake. Everyone wants a piece of you.

Anything that we think is incredible and beautiful and wonderful, we ascribe to something that we don’t know what it is.

There’s so many parts of your life, you know? People say that you don’t get any better after the age of about forty or something like that, as a performer. I find all that to be a misconception. I don’t feel bad about the way I present stuff. The calendar and the mirror – they’re bastards.

I get most of my news from the Jon Stewart Daily Show. It’s the most level commentary you can find. You have to laugh, because it’s all so true. It’s the closest thing to a counterculture.

I’ve already done so much. The rest is just gravy, it’s like frosting on the cake

We drove for the sheer fun of driving because there wasn’t that much money to be made.

I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.