Spike Milligan

If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.

A man who pays his bills on time is soon forgotten

I’m so naive about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain: ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.

A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money.

Bankruptcy stared me in the face, but one thought kept me calm; soon I’d be too poor to need an anti-theft alarm.

Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.

It is easier to ask for money when you don’t need the money.

What is the robbing of a bank compared to the FOUNDING of a bank?

In God we trust; all others must pay cash.

Money is like manure, of very little use except it be spread.

I was so poor growing up, if I wasn’t a boy, I’d have had nothing to play with.

The best thing I know about me, is that I’m rich

You can be young without money but you can’t be old without it.

In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.