Spike Milligan

If you’re given a choice between money and sex appeal, take the money. As you get older, the money will become your sex appeal.

The lack of money is the root of all evils.

Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions.

Money is indeed the most important thing in the world.

I rob banks because that’s where the money is.

Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? … No pockets.

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

If saving money is wrong, I don’t want to be right!

Acting used to be how I paid the rent, but I sold a tequila company for a billion f**king dollars. I don’t need money.

If money be not they servant, it will be thy master. The covetous man cannot so properly be said to possess wealth, as that may be said to possess him.

Making money ain’t nothing exciting to me. You might be able to buy a little better booze than the wino on the corner. But you get sick just like the next cat and when you die you’re just as graveyard dead as he is.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

Carpe per diem – seize the check.

There comes a point where it doesn’t matter how many zeroes are at the end of your bank account.