Samuel Butler

The thief. Once committed beyond a certain point he should not worry himself too much about not being a thief any more. Thieving is God’s message to him. Let him try and be a good thief.

The advantage of doing one’s praising to oneself is that one can lay it on so thick and exactly in the right places.

The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.

Lying has a kind of respect and reverence with it. We pay a person the compliment of acknowledging his superiority whenever we lie to him.

Some men love truth so much that they seem to be in continual fear lest she should catch a cold on overexposure.

Christ: I dislike him very much. Still, I can stand him. What I cannot stand is the wretched band of people whose profession is to hoodwink us about him.

It is a happy talent to know how to play.

A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray; and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.

No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.

Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it come to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh.

Nature has made up her mind that what cannot defend itself shall not be defended.

What old people say you cannot do, you try and find that you can. Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new.

That which we do not believe, we cannot adequately say; even though we may repeat the words ever so often.

Friends… they cherish one another’s hopes. They are kind to one another’s dreams.

We shall see but a little way if we require to understand what we see.

If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience!

Why was the human race created? Or at least why wasn’t something creditable created in place of it? God had His opportunity. He could have made a reputation. But no, He must commit this grotesque folly – a lark which must have cost Him a regret or two when He came to think it over and observe effects.

I look on that man as happy, who, when there is question of success, looks into his work for a reply.

Make a good use of the present.

Meek young men grow up in libraries, believing it their duty to accept the views which Cicero, which Locke, which Bacon, have given, forgetful that Cicero, Locke, and Bacon were only young men in libraries, when they wrote these books. Hence, instead of Man Thinking, we have the book-worm.

Men’s men: gentle or simple, they’re much of a muchness.