Robin Williams

I believe I could do dance on ice, or play in a musical of Freud’s life called ‘It’s Your Mother’ – or maybe one for the symbolists: ‘Jung at Heart’. There’s always the one about India: ‘The Gandhi Man Can’.

Politics: ‘Poli’a Latin word meaning ‘many’; and “tics” meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all of its students.

[to troops in Iraq] I’m looking at a group of heavily armed people here. I’m telling myself ‘if you’re not funny, it’s a problem’

(While accepting the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for Good Will Hunting) Most of all, I want to thank my father, up there, the man who when I said I wanted to be an actor, he said, ‘Wonderful. Just have a back-up profession like welding.’

I try to keep a low profile in general. Not with my art, but just as a person.

The Washington State Supreme Court on Thursday announced a two year suspension for a lawyer caught having jailhouse sex with a triple murder defendant she was representing. Haha! Jokes on you, dummies…I’m not really a lawyer.

If I were running ‘The View’, I’d fire Rosie O’Donnell. I mean, I’d look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say ‘Rosie, you’re fired.’

Lowest rated Oscars in HISTORY. Problem is, we don’t have Stars anymore – except your President (just kidding, of course)!

Confidence is everything in this business.

The problem is, I don’t think I’ve got too much to offer at the minute. I’m busy working on myself. This sounds like real therapy talk, but it’s like, you’ve got to be happy with yourself before you can go out and get yourself a girl.

I do worry – a lot.

To me the biggest irony of this lifetime that I’m living is that for someone who thrives in the public eye in the creative ways that I do, I actually don’t enjoy being in the public eye.

I want to let my fans get to know a little about me. I’m very thankful for everything they’ve done for me so, of course, I’m going to let them into my world a bit. But I really am a very private person, and I love keeping my life to myself-that’s how I’ve always been.

Make Statements also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No one wants to go to a doctor who says, “I’m going to be your surgeon? I’m here to talk to you about your procedure? I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice.

Prison sentences are a lot like penises – if they’re used correctly, even a short one can do the trick… is a rumor I have heard.

I don’t particularly tell my guys to cheat. I just tell them not to get caught.

I’m off everything apart from the fags and the coffee. I don’t know if it’s worked. It works up until you take your first drink.

I’m not always the first person to run out and see something I’m in. I don’t know; for me, that’s not why I did it. I did it because I wanted to act. I don’t really think about the end result. I don’t feel like I have to see it – for me, it already happened.

I think London’s sexy because it’s so full of eccentrics.