Robin Williams

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

You can start any Monty Python routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.

They’re talking about partial nuclear disarmament, which is also like talking about partial circumcision- you either go all the way or forget it.

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.

[to troops in Iraq] I’m looking at a group of heavily armed people here. I’m telling myself ‘if you’re not funny, it’s a problem’

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He’s like ‘We have to get rid of dictators,’ but he’s pretty much one himself.

I can do the Chipmunk voice and impressions of Judy Garland, Debbie Reynolds and Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music. I could probably do the whole Von Trapp family.

There’s so much of this beautiful planet that is still actually spectacular and stimulating. There are so many amazing people that you meet along the way. By using my career as the wind in the sails of my adventures, I could see so many things and so many people that I might have missed had my career gone a different direction.

I think the way for me to win America’s heart is to perform, and if I really was concerned about breaking big then there’d be a tour.

I believe I could do dance on ice, or play in a musical of Freud’s life called ‘It’s Your Mother’ – or maybe one for the symbolists: ‘Jung at Heart’. There’s always the one about India: ‘The Gandhi Man Can’.

I walked into this industry blond with red lips, and I will leave this industry blond with red lips. Mark my words.

Ahh, I’m from Canada so… no. I’m a Northern Belle.

It’s nice to be important, but it’s important to always be nice.

There is nothing inherently wrong with media that has a viewpoint. This show has a viewpoint; we fact-check everything we say, but I don’t pretend to be neutral on things like criminal justice reform; I’m for it. Uh… Coldplay; I’m against it. Uh… or DeWalt ladders; they’re a seamless blend of style and performance. Walking up one is like ascending to Heaven on a golden cloud. I’m not being paid to say that. I’m just a fan.

Contrary to popular myth, I didn’t just hatch out of an eagle’s nest, circa One Million Years B.C., clad in a doe-skin bikini. In fact, I was more surprised than anyone to find myself on location in such an exotic setting, high atop a volcanic mountain in the Canary Islands! With the release of that famous movie poster, in one fell swoop, everything in my life changed and everything about the real me was swept away. All else would be eclipsed by this bigger-than-life sex symbol.

You’re better off being a brick layer if you’re going to play guitar than a sheet metal worker.

I don’t think I’ve aged gracefully.

Who can wear the skimpiest outfit? I mean come on. These young girls are talented singers, they don’t need that, but they feel they have to be in competition to have the least covering. That’s the saddest thing.

I don’t like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don’t think that fighting and passion are the same thing.

I usually don’t listen back to the shows but I finally did. Now I know the one thing that’s gonna make it even better than it already is!

I’m starting to know how the world works a bit, and I’m learning more and more that the only thing that matters is what happens between ‘action’ and ‘cut’. I’m allowing myself to be a bit more selfish, for want of a better word, just that it’s OK to focus and that I don’t have to be nice to everybody.