Robert Pattinson

I aspire to be Jack Nicholson. I love every single mannerism. I used to try and be him in virtually everything I did, I don’t know why. I watched One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest when I was about 13, and I dressed like him. I tried to do his accent. I did everything like him. I think it’s kind of stuck with me.

Thats the worst thing, I dont really care if people say I’m a bad actor, I can like work on that, but if they just say that he’s ugly thats just like “oh.. really?”

My worst habit is speaking to much.

I’ve been using the fan websites as I was acting it, because they know so much about the books, and it’s really helpful as a resource.

I can’t say I was. I wasn’t not a (Harry Porter) fan. I hadn’t read any of the books or anything. I read The Goblet of Fire when I was doing the other film, and I really liked that. I got through it in about two days. I’d say I’m a pretty big fan now.

[being naked in his new role in Little Ashes] In a lot of ways, I was kind of crossing lines of what I thought I was comfortable doing. I had to do all this naked stuff.

Roc Nation is such an incredible, unique team, especially in the music industry. Everyone genuinely loves and cares about each other.

Presley was definitely a great inspiration to every guy who ever had a hard-on in the whole of the Western world, I should think. He shook everybody well and true, and we just kept on shakin’. But he started it.

British politics, when done well, can be very fun. John Oliver

Well, my sort of stability as a character, it’s never been one of my strongest attributes. I’m a bit of a clusterf*ck. I get so many great ideas that I kind of mesmerize people with another plan before the previous plan is hatched out; people run away, pull their hair off, go off in different directions, nodding their heads, and going, “Oh, god”.

I think part of picking where you live in New York is accepting who you are. Really looking at yourself and going, ‘Yeah, I’m not cool enough for the West Village.’

We’re still trying to break records on the twentieth anniversary of Live Aid. I’ve just heard Bob Geldof has put Phil Collins on a jet to Philadelphia. There’s nothing going on there, we just don’t want him around this year. No I’m joking, of course we didn’t put him on a jet. We stuck him in a catapult. To be fair, he didn’t get very far. Although it worked in rehearsals when we used it on Chris De Burgh. I could do a whole routine about injuring Phil f**king Collins.

Everybody I know in England was raised on Mose Allison.

This is what I’ve learned about women: A guy’s walking down the street and he kicks a Coke can, and out comes a genie, and the genie says: “I will grant you one wish.” The guy says, “I don’t need anything. I’m happy. I play tennis. I sing in a rock group. But there is just one thing. I want to go to Florida and I hate flying. Can you build me a bridge from London to Miami?” And the genie scratches his head and says, “I don’t think I can do that. That’s a bit too much.” So the guy says, “Wait a minute: women. Can you explain the ways of a woman’s mind?” And the genie looks at him and says, “About that bridge. Do you want a handrail and lights?” It’s a handrail and lights, man. Whenever there’s trouble with women we all go, “Just give me the bridge.” It’s much easier.

Wow, that is hard to watch. Hi, this is Ted Cruz, just calling to remind you to vote for a man who insulted my wife and said my dad helped kill JFK. Anyway, life has no meaning. Thank you. I want to die.

[on accepting his CBE] I owe everything to the musicians I work with. From the UK to Africa to Tennessee, it is their brilliance that I bounce off. Alone I’m nothing.

To play June, I had an immediate connect with her background and culture. We grew up with the same religion and shared a lot of the same values of family and spirituality. But I was really so inspired by what a modern woman she was.

My mum and my dad are the sweetest couple.

I was a little excited but mostly blorft. ‘Blorft’ is an adjective I just made up that means ‘Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.’ I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.

The idea of being in control for the sake of control is not really important to me. If everyone is sharp and doing what they’re doing well, you don’t really need to be in control all the time.

You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.