Robbie Williams

The problem is, I don’t think I’ve got too much to offer at the minute. I’m busy working on myself. This sounds like real therapy talk, but it’s like, you’ve got to be happy with yourself before you can go out and get yourself a girl.

I’d make a better U.S. President than George W. Bush. Bush is an idiot. I’m a better public speaker than him. It makes you wonder about the voters.

I’m quite obviously not the world’s most handsome man – I’m the second world’s most handsome man!

To be honest, I don’t want No. 1’s anymore. Now, don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t mind the odd few, but I’d also like a record going in at eight and staying around.

It’s a huge responsibility being a solo act.

Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe write some really great stuff – stuff that would put Oscar Wilde to shame. If the Pet Shop Boys ever wanted a third member, I’d be there.

I really wasn’t heavy in high school. But no one feels right in their own skin, particularly in high school.

I would not trade any of these features for anybody else’s. I wouldn’t trade the small thin-lipped mouth that makes me resemble my nephew. I wouldn’t even trade the acne scar on my right cheek, because that recurring zit spent more time with me in college than any boy ever did.

I was labeled a ‘theatre type’ in high school, which made it hard to fit in and feel part of things.

This Velvet Mafia thing is just another homophobic, nasty kind of thing that jealous queens make up.

The suit-and-tie job is very nice, but it’s not really who I am in my heart.

Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual with the successful one is a lot of hard work.

I want a man who’s kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He’s like ‘We have to get rid of dictators,’ but he’s pretty much one himself.

Down the road, I’ll probably have a kid or two or three. And there will probably be political events or spiritual things to comment on, and humor.

I couldn`t stand that my husband was being unfaithful. I am Raquel Welch – understand?

When we first started DreamWorks, I said to Jeffrey, ‘We ought to call this new company the Spielberg Brothers. Anything Steven thinks is important, we want to invest in.

I was quite intimidated by Ralph Fiennes. I didn’t really talk to him while I was doing Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and the only thing I did with him was when he stepped on my head. Then I went to this play and he was there. And this girl said, “you’ve worked with Ralph Fiennes haven’t you, Robert?” and I was like, “well, no…” and Ralph said, “yes, I stepped on your head.” And that was the extent of our conversation.

Politics: ‘Poli’a Latin word meaning ‘many’; and “tics” meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.

This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in 10,000 pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over 14,000 dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.

Welcome to The Daily Show, I’m John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness.