Ray Romano

Democracy is like a tambourine – not everyone can be trusted with it.’

Diamonds never leave you… men do!

Old men do it better. We’re not so sensitive in certain areas.

There is no doubt about precisely when folks began racing each other in automobiles. It was the day they built the second automobile.

I don’t take gifts from perfect strangers-but then, nobody is perfect.

Nothing is creepier than a bunch of adults being very quiet.

[on Popeye] If you watch it backwards, it has a plot.

Never put a question mark where God puts a Period.

We’re not going out there with somebody pretending to be Freddie Mercury. We are what we are now; we’re not what we were then, we’re just going out, playing our songs.

Spring is nature’s way of saying, “Let’s party!”

People have got to let their bodies breathe a little bit more. That’s the great thing about being a pompous, jumped-up rock god. There’s plenty of air around you.

I was a little excited but mostly blorft. ‘Blorft’ is an adjective I just made up that means ‘Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.’ I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.

Besides, I’m a gypsy at heart and I like to travel around.

Last year in L.A. county 150 out of 151 incumbents ran unopposed. And come on. They could at least go through the motions of pretending there was another candidate. Just throw a robe on a pelican and tape a gavel to his wing. Or – I’ll tell you what – you’re in L.A. Just pretend you’re considering Blake Lively for the job. Movie studios do that all the time.

Very rarely artists come in on their own terms and get to do everything – whatever they want…it doesn’t really matter about talent in the beginning. Talent is what keeps you here, getting in the door is just about how you start in the music business.