Mark Twain

Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.

In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.

A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle; …they squabble and scold and fight; they scramble for little mean advantages over each other; age creeps upon them; infirmities follow; …those they love are taken from them, and the joy of life is turned to aching grief. It comes at last-the only unpoisoned gift earth ever had for them-and they vanish from a world where they were of no consequence, …a world which will lament them a day and forget them forever.

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead – and not then until we have been dead years and years. People ought to start dead and then they would be honest so much earlier.

I never could keep a promise. I do not blame myself for this weakness, because the fault must lie in my physical organization. It is likely that such a very liberal amount of space was given to the organ which enables me to make promises that the organ which should enable me to keep them was crowded out. But I grieve not. I like no half-way things. I had rather have one faculty nobly developed than two faculties of mere ordinary capacity.

Revenge is the act of passion, vengeance is an act of justice.

Evil is like water, it abounds, is cheap, soon fouls, but runs itself clear of taint.

Ready are you? What know you of ready?

Fate is nothing but the deeds committed in a prior state of existence.

Familiarity breeds contempt and children.

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor’s house is in flames.

Every being is in search of truth, but small fears go on preventing you.

For character too is a process and an unfolding… among our valued friends is there not someone or other who is a little too self confident and disdainful; whose distinguished mind is a little spotted with commonness; who is a little pinched here and protuberant there with native prejudices; or whose better energies are liable to lapse down the wrong channel under the influence of transient solicitations?

Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told: “I’m with you kid. Let’s go.”

I cannot forecast to you the action of Russia. It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma; but perhaps there is a key. That key is Russian national interest.

Sweet and glorious it is to die for our country.

There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.

In the morning a man walks with his whole body; in the evening, only with his legs.

It will never rain roses: when we want to have more roses we must plant more trees.