Mark Twain

Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.

An average English word is four letters and a half. By hard, honest labor I’ve dug all the large words out of my vocabulary and shaved it down till the average is three and a half… I never write metropolis for seven cents, because I can get the same money for city. I never write policeman, because I can get the same price for cop…. I never write valetudinarian at all, for not even hunger and wretchedness can humble me to the point where I will do a word like that for seven cents; I wouldn’t do it for fifteen.

The trouble with you Chicago people is that you think you are the best people down here, whereas you are merely the most numerous.

My parents were neither very poor nor conspicuously honest.

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

True irreverence is disrespect for another man’s god.

A banker is a fellow who lends his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Love is only one of many passions.

Men of age object too much, consult too long, adventure too little, repent too soon, and seldom drive business home to the full period, but content themselves with a mediocrity of success.

As long as a man stands in his own way, everything seems to be in his way.

If we are but sure the end is right, we are too apt to gallop over all bounds to compass it; not considering the lawful ends may be very unlawfully attained.

Associate reverently, as much as you can, with your loftiest thoughts.

It is better to be frightened now than killed hereafter

No man ever prayed heartily without learning something.

The resistance to the unpleasant situation is the root of suffering.

If no mistake have you made, yet losing you are … a different game you should play.

In the multitude of middle-aged men who go about their vocations in a daily course determined for them much in the same way as the tie of their cravats, there is always a good number who once meant to shape their own deeds and alter the world a little.

What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered.

Big jobs usually go to the men who prove their ability to outgrow small ones.

Your fingers caress my heart strings, shaping a silent sonnet in notes of love. Transcending space and time, bathing the ether in perfect harmony.

Self-command is the main discipline.