Mark Twain

October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.

If He Tom Sawyer had been a great and wise philosopher, like the writer of this book, he would now have comprehended that Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do and Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did; I ought to know because I’ve done it a thousand times.

Let them look up in the sky then…! if they must be so blind, that cannot see the truth in broad daylight, but must have the whole world in darkness to see the conceit of the stars…

The truth is sometimes a hard pill to swallow. It sometimes causes us difficulties at home and abroad. It is sometimes used by our enemies in attempts to hurt us. But the American people are entitled to it, nonetheless.

Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain’t so.

It is more from carelessness about truth than from intentionally lying that there is so much falsehood in the world.

If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.

Do not be angry with me if I tell you the truth

Truth is a good dog; but always beware of barking too close to the heels of an error, lest you get your brains kicked out.

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.

It is a pleasure to stand upon the shore, and to see ships tost upon the sea: a pleasure to stand in the window of a castle, and to see a battle and the adventures thereof below: but no pleasure is comparable to standing upon the vantage ground of truth… and to see the errors, and wanderings, and mists, and tempests, in the vale below.

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

I have such a high regard for the truth that I use it sparingly.

The truth knocks on the door and you say, Go away, I’m looking for the truth, and so it goes away. Puzzling.

All truth is not to be told at all times.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn’t.

To tell the truth is very difficult, and young people are rarely capable of it.