Mark Twain

I never let schooling interfere with my education.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.

If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.

Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

A lucky person gets up in the morning, puts both feet on the floor, knows what they’re about to do and thinks it still matters.

If I repent of anything, it is very likely to be my good behavior.

Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.

Which is worse? The wolf who cries before eating the lamb or the wolf who does not.

Sometimes we are inclined to class those who are once-and-a-half witted with the half-witted, because we appreciate only a third part of their wit.

Do not waste your time on Social Questions. What is the matter with the poor is Poverty; what is the matter with the rich is Uselessness.

Tomorrow is always another day to make things right.

I don’t think it’s meant for man to know everything at once.

No matter how carefully you plan your goals they will never be more than pipe dreams unless you pursue them with gusto.

All excess is ill, but drunkenness is of the worst sort. It spoils health, dismounts the mind, and unmans men. It reveals secrets, is quarrelsome, lascivious, impudent, dangerous and bad.

He hates chess. He says it is a foolish expedient for making idle people believe they are doing something clever when they are only wasting their time.

Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.

Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased with tales, so is the other.

It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other.

America is another name for opportunity.