Mark Twain

A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.

I never let schooling interfere with my education.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absense of fear.

Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.

You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself.

In ceremonies of the horsemen, even the pawn must hold a grudge.

You don’t need a pack of wild horses to learn how to make a sandwich.

To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

The present method of producing milk is too laborious. I believe that we can make milk by scientific process, eliminating the cow.

Warm summer sun, shine kindly here. Warm southern wind, blow softly here. Green sod above, lie light, lie light. Good night, dear Heart, Good night, good night.

Life is like improvised jazz. We cannot regulate all the variables. We must play it with panache and flair as best we can.

It is just like man’s vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.

I know the sun rises in the eat and sets in the west, that I am ten fingers and ten toes and ten thousand reasons short of explaining what it is I can’t explain to you. And I know that I will always love you in certainties.

I would rather be healthy alone, then sick with someone else.

Nothing endures but change.

Why would I want a place of my own? Then I would have to things worry about, like doing laundry and having food in the fridge.

Just because you like my stuff doesn’t mean I owe you anything.

You are a function of what the whole universe is doing in the same way that a wave is a function of what the whole ocean is doing.

Be your authentic self. Your authentic self is who you are when you have no fear of judgment, or before the world starts pushing you around and telling you who you’re supposed to be. Your fictional self is who you are when you have a social mask on to please everyone else. Give yourself permission to be your authentic self.