Mark Twain

Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

It is by the goodness of God that we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

He is now rising from affluence to poverty.

History is strewn thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill, but a lie, well told, is immortal.

I never could keep a promise. I do not blame myself for this weakness, because the fault must lie in my physical organization. It is likely that such a very liberal amount of space was given to the organ which enables me to make promises that the organ which should enable me to keep them was crowded out. But I grieve not. I like no half-way things. I had rather have one faculty nobly developed than two faculties of mere ordinary capacity.

My philosophy is to have a really good time and never to let anything stop me from doing what I want to do.

There are two types of speakers, those that are nervous and those that are liars.

Through our eyes, the universe is perceiving itself. Through our ears, the universe is listening to its harmonies. We are the witnesses through which the universe becomes conscious of its glory, of its magnificence.

[Moving to the West] was a culture shock. I had never seen cereal before! We had cottage cheese and pancakes in Russia, not colorful circles that came in cardboard boxes.

I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don’t always agree with them.

Join the dance.

I don’t know of a single foreign product that enters this country untaxed, except the answer to prayer.

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.

Every man is the architect of his own fortune.

Mistrust the man who finds everything good, the man who finds everything evil and still more the man who is indifferent to everything.

She wears her beauty as the sky wears the stars, infinitely deep and forever shining.

A lot of people do have tragic childhoods. But you know what? Get over it.

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that make horseraces.

Isn’t it amazing how easily you can cheat yourself out of the right choices by convincing yourself that you “deserve” the wrong ones? It’s highly illogical when you think about it. You deserve a better life, you deserve better health, and you deserve to lose weight.

You have to figure out what that is, and you have to make a plan to get to it. And the plan has got to have a timeline. You have to choose something that you can afford to do and then lock it in and passionately do it.