Mark Twain

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.

To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did; I ought to know because I’ve done it a thousand times.

Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us the curse of labor.

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.

Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain’t so.

For truth is precious and divine, too rich a pearl for carnal swine.

Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.

The lawyer’s truth is not Truth, but consistency or a consistent expediency.

The truth knocks on the door and you say, Go away, I’m looking for the truth, and so it goes away. Puzzling.

It is a pleasure to stand upon the shore, and to see ships tost upon the sea: a pleasure to stand in the window of a castle, and to see a battle and the adventures thereof below: but no pleasure is comparable to standing upon the vantage ground of truth… and to see the errors, and wanderings, and mists, and tempests, in the vale below.

When in doubt tell the truth.

Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.

Truth is so hard to tell, it sometimes needs fiction to make it plausible.

To tell the truth is very difficult, and young people are rarely capable of it.

Why shouldn’t truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.

It is a puzzling thing. The truth knocks on the door and you say, ‘Go away, I’m looking for the truth.’ and so it goes away. Puzzling.

The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it and ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.

Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.

If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.