Mark Twain

He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients, no, three, I think – yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child’s loss of a doll and a king’s loss of a crown are events of the same size.

Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom.

Obscurity and competence: That is the life that is worth living.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Money itself won’t bring happiness, but it sure makes paying the bills easier.

If happiness is what you’re after, you’re gonna be let down frequently and you’re gonna be unhappy much of your time. Joy though, joy is the feeling that we have doing what we are fashioned to do, no matter the outcome.

What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.

Happy is harder than money. Anyone who thinks money will make them happy, doesn’t have money.

Happiness does not depend on outward things, but on the way we see them.

The secret of happiness? Live life in the slow lane.

Happiness is not a goal…it’s a by-product of a life well lived.

Happiness is a continuation of happenings which are not resisted.

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.

They’ve got no idea what happiness is, they don’t know that without this love there is no happiness or unhappiness for us–there is no life.

Pursue whatever it is that you want to do with your life. It is the only secret to happiness that I know except for maybe true love, that and maybe having the amazing health insurance plan that our congressmen have.

Choose happiness, not success, as your life’s goal. If you become successful but aren’t happy, then what is the point?

When I hold you in my arms and I feel my finger on your trigger I know no one can do me no harm because happiness is a warm gun.

If you let go a little you will have a little happiness. If you let go completely you will be free.

A happy life is just a string of happy moments. But most people don’t allow the happy moment, because they’re so busy trying to get a happy life.