Mark Twain

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress; but I repeat myself.

Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.

When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one.

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

Man is the only animal that blushes – or needs to.

We have the best government that money can buy.

A mighty porterhouse steak an inch and a half thick, hot and sputtering from the griddle; dusted with fragrant pepper; enriched with little melting bits of butter of the most impeachable freshness and genuineness; the precious juices of the meat trickling out and joining the gravy, archipelagoed with mushrooms; a township or two of tender, yellowish fat gracing an out-lying district of this ample county of beefsteak; the long white bone which divides the sirloin from the tenderloin still in its place.

Eating is touch carried to the bitter end.

Chocolate makes everyone smile – even bankers.

No eggs, no omelette. And it depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket, you have eggs class one, class two, class three. Some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem.

I don’t go long without eating. I never starve myself: I grab a healthy snack.

I go to McDonald’s every day. But I don’t eat much.

I do not like broccoli. And I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I’m President of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli.

The only meat I eat is from animals I’ve killed myself.

What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?

Together, we can help make sure that every family that walks into a restaurant can make an easy, healthy choice.

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Trump Steaks, where are the steaks? Do we have steaks? We have Trump Steaks.

I love to cook comfort food. I’ll make fish and vegetables or meat and vegetables and potatoes or rice. The ritual of it is fun for me, and the creativity of it.

American food is too dry! I need myself some proper Chinese soup like right now.

I once made a (it was supposed to be a 30-minute) bean salad that took me like 6 hours