Mark Twain

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.

Laws control the lesser man… Right conduct controls the greater one.

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

In Boston they ask, How much does he know? In New York, How much is he worth? In Philadelphia, Who were his parents?

Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.

Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.

In literature the ambition of the novice is to acquire the literary language: the struggle of the adept is to get rid of it.

It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like as long as somebody loves you.

Give me health and a day, and I will make the pomp of emperors ridiculous.

It is the only sensual pleasure without vice.

He who waits to do a great deal of good at once, will never do anything.

Sometimes we are inclined to class those who are once-and-a-half witted with the half-witted, because we appreciate only a third part of their wit.

The German intellect wants the French sprightliness, the fine practical understanding of the English, and the American adventure; but it has a certain probity, which never rests in a superficial performance, but asks steadily, To what end? A German public asks for a controlling sincerity.

One great use of words is to hide our thoughts.

She was taken by surprise at quite how breathtaking the twinkle in her eyes was. She listened and watched attentively, magnetized. As butterflies danced on her lips, her own stomach felt butterflies.

Necessity does everything well.

Once you truly understand that it is okay to lose or fail, you are free, you have nothing to fear, and only then, can nothing in this world hold you back.

To hazard much to get much has more of avarice than wisdom.

We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills;we shall never surrender.

He was doing missionary work. But from the outset he had little success in convincing his charges of their responsibility for a sin committed at the beginning of creation, one which, as they understood it, they were ready and capable (indeed, they carried charms to assure it) of duplicating themselves. He did no better convincing them that a man had died on a tree to save them all: an act which one old Indian, if Gwyon had translated correctly, regarded as “rank presumption”.