John Nelson

Don’t matter how much money you got, there’s only two kinds of people: there’s saved people and there’s lost people.

The faster I make a lot of money, the faster I can have these kids I want.

No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he’d only had good intentions – he had money, too.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.

I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.

I think one of the most pervasive evils in this world is greed and acquiring money for money’s sake. Once you have six houses and a plane, it’s just about a number. It’s never been anything I understood.

I’m bout this shmoney!

You can’t substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship. Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness.

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.

I’m so naive about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain: ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.

The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people.

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.