Henry Youngman

I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need; if I die by four O’clock.

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Seize the moments of happiness, love and be loved! That is the only reality in the world, all else is folly. It is the one thing we are interested in here.

Don’t worry, be happy!

The unhappiest man on earth is the one who has nothing to do.

They’ve got no idea what happiness is, they don’t know that without this love there is no happiness or unhappiness for us–there is no life.

The key to being happy is knowing you have the power to choose what to except and what to let go.

Happiness isn’t a one-size-fits-all proposition. You must define what it looks like for you and then make a conscious effort to access whatever gets you to your unique definition of joy.

If you want to be happy, be.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.

Pursue whatever it is that you want to do with your life. It is the only secret to happiness that I know except for maybe true love, that and maybe having the amazing health insurance plan that our congressmen have.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

When I hold you in my arms and I feel my finger on your trigger I know no one can do me no harm because happiness is a warm gun.

Happiness does not depend on outward things, but on the way we see them.

Relinquishing the delusional hope that we can or must be flawless allows us to seek happiness in the place it can be found: Our real, messy, imperfect experience