George Bernard Shaw

Man is the only animal of which I am thoroughly and cravenly afraid of.

Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.

In literature the ambition of the novice is to acquire the literary language: the struggle of the adept is to get rid of it.

A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.

What use are cartridges in battle? I always carry chocolate instead.

No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means.

Marriage is distinctly and repeatedly excluded from heaven. Is this because it is thought likely to mar the general felicity?

By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher.

If you were going to list the 100 most popular things that I have done as president. Being married to Michelle Obama is number one.

Call no man unhappy until he is married.

There’s no doubt I’m a better man having spent time with Michelle. I would never say that Michelle’s a better woman, but I will say she’s a little more patient.

It was a very meaningful ceremony and marriage means a lot to me.

Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.

[on Michelle] A dedicated mom, a good friend, and someone who’s not afraid to poke a little fun at herself from time to time

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out.

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.

This is my first marriage. Beforehand, I was living in sin.

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.

[on Michelle] Like a lot of political spouses, the role was thrust upon her. But I always knew she’d be incredible at it, and put her own unique stamp on the job. That’s because who you see is who she is-the brilliant, funny, generous woman who, for whatever reason, agreed to marry me. I think people gravitate to her because they see themselves in her-a dedicated mom, a good friend, and someone who’s not afraid to poke a little fun at herself from time to time.

A man’s friendships are, like his will, invalidated by marriage – but they are also no less invalidated by the marriage of his friends.