George Bernard Shaw

If there was nothing wrong in the world there wouldn’t be anything for us to do.

Syllables govern the world.

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.

If you value a man’s regard, strive with him. As to liking, you like your newspaper – and despise it.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It’s the funniest joke in the world.

I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad.

A man is in general better pleased when he has a good dinner upon his table, than when his wife talks Greek.

Power doesn’t corrupt people; people corrupt power.

No man can taste the fruits of autumn while he is delighting his scent with the flowers of spring.

What sort of philosophers are we, who know absolutely nothing about the origin and destiny of cats?

To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know, I’ve done it a thousand times.

It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.

The fact that a believer is happier than a sceptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality.

The mould of a man’s fortune is in his own hands.

How can you dare teach a man to read until you’ve taught him everything else first?

Necessity does everything well.

Do not assume anything. Clear your mind must be if you are to discover the real villains behind this plot.

This self-love is the instrument of our preservation; it resembles the provision for the perpetuity of mankind: it is necessary, it is dear to us, it gives us pleasure, and we must conceal it.

Friends are thieves of time.

Poor fellow! I think he is in love with you.’ I am not aware of it. And to me it is one of the most odious things in a girl’s life, that there must always be some supposition of falling in love coming between her and any man who is kind to her… I have no ground for the nonsensical vanity of fancying everybody who comes near me is in love with me.

Farmers are respectable and interesting to me in proportion as they are poor.