David Geffen

My greatest fear is getting bored.

That had her lip-syncing to a record… There was no protection for her as a person or as an artist…

The concept known as bal tashchit – ‘Do no destroy’ – has a special significance in Jewish tradition…We are constantly being warned in our faith that the capricious, thoughtless, wasteful destruction of the elements and creatures of the earth is wrong…We should remind ourselves daily of our responsibility to all aspects of creation.

[In 1969] I think lyrics have always been important to any serious writer of music.

We all die unhealed

Asking me to come work here is the dumbest idea you ever had. It has been a waste of a year.

The music beckons to those who are listening.

I have so much residue crap in my hair from years and years of not washing it and not having any sense of personal hygiene whatsoever… even today, I go into these things where I’m supposed to be this sexy guy or whatever, and I’m literally asking, “if I get plumes of dandruff on me, can you just brush it off?”

It hits you in small ways and large, doesn’t it? For instance, had you considered the fact that portraits of Trump are going to be hanging in our airports? Uh… or that the man who disparaged a Gold Star family will now be expected to comfort the families of fallen soldiers? And maybe you’ve tried to make yourself feel better, fantasizing that he might Google how much does the president get paid?, get depressed, and then resign. But that is when you remember Mike fucking Pence, who might be even worse, because he looks like he’s from the 1950s, but he thinks like he’s from the 1650s. Oh, what’s that, you say? Her pregnancy was terminated before birth? Well, clearly she’s a witch. Hold a funeral for the fetus and throw the mother in a lake.

I was wearing my best gap turtleneck and my dates were two adult lesbians. So yea, I was pretty cool.

The problem is, I don’t think I’ve got too much to offer at the minute. I’m busy working on myself. This sounds like real therapy talk, but it’s like, you’ve got to be happy with yourself before you can go out and get yourself a girl.

British politics, when done well, can be very fun. John Oliver

I forgot better shit than you ever thought of.

This is what I tell young women who ask me for career advice. People are going to try to trick you. To make you feel that you are in competition with one another. “You’re up for a promotion. If they go for a woman, it’ll be between you and Barbara.” Don’t be fooled. You’re not in competition with other women. You’re in competition with everyone.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

To a smart girl men are no problem – they’re the answer.

To me, there’s two types of songs, good and bad. And I just like to stick with the good ones.

An iPhone would be a more coherent president of the United States.

I think Led Zeppelin must have worn some of the most peculiar clothing that men had ever been seen to wear without cracking a smile.

Well, my sort of stability as a character, it’s never been one of my strongest attributes. I’m a bit of a clusterf*ck. I get so many great ideas that I kind of mesmerize people with another plan before the previous plan is hatched out; people run away, pull their hair off, go off in different directions, nodding their heads, and going, “Oh, god”.

A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss.