Bob Dylan

Don’t matter how much money you got, there’s only two kinds of people: there’s saved people and there’s lost people.

A poem is a naked person… Some people say that I am a poet.

What good are fans? You can’t eat applause for breakfast. You can’t sleep with it.

You learn from a conglomeration of the incredible past — whatever experience gotten in any way whatsoever.

When you cease to exist, then who will you blame?

At times in my life the only place I have been happy is when I am on stage.

That night’s show was watched by ten million people, so I guess that director at The Second City who said the audience “didn’t want to see a sketch with two women” can go shit in his hat.

What was the competition? Well, I remember this Puerto Rican who came out in a short skirt and a gun.

When I was a kid I used to hide behind the curtains at home at Christmas and I used to try and be Elvis. There was a certain ambience between the curtains and the French windows, there was a certain sound there for a ten-year-old. That was all the ambience I got at ten years old…I think!

I call it fan fatigue. I went to see Bob Dylan last year, who I think is absolutely incredible, but he suffers from his audience.

Comedy is acting out optimism.

The goal is to try and make the perfect song. Which of course will never happen.

Very rarely artists come in on their own terms and get to do everything – whatever they want…it doesn’t really matter about talent in the beginning. Talent is what keeps you here, getting in the door is just about how you start in the music business.

What gets me is how many women – young women – give up their power and sense of self. Thinking they’re going to get more out of life if they take off their clothes and objectify themselves, instead of functioning on the principle that they’re smart and capable, that you can be an actress and not be on the covers of T&A magazines. I’m flabbergasted by how many legitimate actresses do that. It blows my mind.

I try to keep my ego at the right size. No matter what, I just do my best to live in an attitude of gratitude.

Ain’t it just like the night to play tricks when you’re tryin’ to be so quiet?

Everyone asks me about being so worried or thinking about existence as if I’m the only person who can’t understand why a tree grows the way it does or why a person is in power when they’re not that great. These are questions everyone has.

I feel like I represent normalcy in some way.

Contrary to popular myth, I didn’t just hatch out of an eagle’s nest, circa One Million Years B.C., clad in a doe-skin bikini. In fact, I was more surprised than anyone to find myself on location in such an exotic setting, high atop a volcanic mountain in the Canary Islands! With the release of that famous movie poster, in one fell swoop, everything in my life changed and everything about the real me was swept away. All else would be eclipsed by this bigger-than-life sex symbol.

People today are still living off the table scraps of the sixties. They are still being passed around – the music and the ideas.

Girls are a distraction and can easily cost points.