B. B. King

If my fans want to do something for me when that time comes, I say, don’t waste your money on me. Help the homeless. Help the needy… people who don’t have no food… Instead of some big funeral, where they come from here and there and all over. Save it.

The minute I stop singing orally, I start to sing by playing Lucille.

Growing up on the plantation there in Mississippi, I would work Monday through Saturday noon. I’d go to town on Saturday afternoons, sit on the street corner, and I’d sing and play.

Back when we was in school in Mississippi, we had Little Black Sambo. That’s what you learned: Anytime something was not good, or anytime something was bad in some kinda way, it had to be called black. Like, you had Black Monday, Black Friday, black sheep… Of course, everything else, all the good stuff, is white. White Christmas and such.

Even now, at 82 years old, if I don’t learn something every day, you know what I think? It’s a day lost. Now, I don’t practice every day. I just take the guitar, swear at it. But I should be swearing at myself. But I fool with music. I’m doing something musically all the time. And my ears are wide open for anything I can hear.

I’ve seen myself on those lists of the 100 best guitarists, and if they think that I’m that good, thank them. Thank God for them. But I don’t think so.

I’ve watched the Emmys for almost my whole life, so it was crazy to finally be there in the audience clapping and actually going on stage. Hopefully one day I’ll get to be actually nominated.

I have just been saying whatever the f**k I want. That’s always a breath of fresh air… everyone is so filtered these days. I’m just back to being reckless and being a Southside, Jamaica, Queens, New York rapper

So I have probably 1,200 little bits of paper with notes, which when the Ambien really starts to kick in, don’t really make much sense. Say what you like about prescription drugs, but they do help when you’re sequencing a record.

I’m a chocolate addict!

Sarah Palin has been hired back by Fox News, and she only left five months ago. She has now effectively quit quitting. She can’t even commit to being uncommitted.

[While Amy Poehler and I were doing press for Sisters,] every single interviewer asked, ‘Isn’t this an amazing time for women in comedy?’ People really wanted us to be openly grateful-‘Thank you so much!’-and we were like, ‘No, it’s a terrible time. If you were to really look at it, the boys are still getting more money for a lot of garbage, while the ladies are hustling and doing amazing work for less.’

A designer told me that my wife was a master of light and I was a master of time.

Spring is nature’s way of saying, “Let’s party!”

Many people worry so much about managing their careers, but rarely spend half that much energy managing their lives. I want to make my life, not just my job, the best it can be. The rest will work itself out.

If I were running ‘The View’, I’d fire Rosie O’Donnell. I mean, I’d look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say ‘Rosie, you’re fired.’

When I started, I never gave any thought whatsoever to what I would be doing when I was 70.

If I could be anyone, I’d choose the lead singer of Arcade Fire, Win Butler.

I’m not Sammy Glick. I’ve never killed anyone. I don’t have to. I’m too talented.

It’s VH1, it’s everywhere, and you know music is just the world right now. People love music.

News is not a game show. You don’t win a car if you happen to be right.