Amy Poehler

The streets and woods around my house were a perfect setting for fake mischief. I would spend all afternoon pretending I had run away and had to live on my own. I would bring Toll House cookies and a sweatshirt and try to make a fire. I would sneak out side my house at dusk with a pair binoculars and search the streets for murderers. I created scenarios in my head that I always managed to escape from kidnap fantasies where I would wriggle free from the ropes.

I really do believe that anything in life – any obstacle or challenge – can be made better with humor.

Be yourself. No one else can be you.

You know, as a comedian your body has to be – I need to think of a better term than ‘up for grabs’ – but you kind of use whatever you have to get the laugh. And if you’re worrying about how you look… Vanity is the death of comedy.

[at the 2013 Golden Globe Awards] Meryl Streep is not here tonight. She has the flu and I hear she’s amazing in it.

It takes years to find your voice and seize your real estate.

It’s better to be healthy alone than sick with someone else.

A lot of people believe what other people say.

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.

My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don’t have sex-ever. Now that the milk is free, we’ve both become lactose intolerant.

He stepped down, avoiding any long look at her as one avoids long looks at the sun, but seeing her as one sees the sun, without looking.

You know the funny thing, I don’t get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people.

Good friends are good for your health.

I’ve always said, ‘If you need Viagra, you’re probably with the wrong girl.

I have a rule, and that is to never look at somebody’s face while we’re having sex; because, number one, what if I know the guy?

If I’m not interested in a woman, I’m straight-forward. Right after sex, I usually say, ‘I can’t do this anymore. Thanks for coming over!’

Lasting love and forgiveness are two sides of the same page.

If I don’t have friends, then I ain’t got nothing.

I think careful cooking is love, don’t you? The loveliest thing you can cook for someone who’s close to you is about as nice a Valentine as you can give.

From the first time I saw a picture of him, James Taylor was it — the ultimate Orpheus of all my fantasies.

Kiss me, and you will see how important I am.