Mark Twain Quotes

A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.

All I say is, kings is kings, and you got to make allowances. Take them all around, they’re a mighty ornery lot. It’s the way they’re raised.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

We have the best government that money can buy.

He does not care for flowers. Calls them rubbish, and cannot tell one from another, and thinks it is superior to feel like that.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

We Americans… bear the ark of liberties of the world.

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.

Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.

In statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities.

People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.

When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.

Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.

George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.

There are only two forces that can carry light to all the corners of the globe… the sun in the heavens and the Associated Press down here.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss SLOWLY. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret anything. That makes you smile.

I was exceedingly delighted with the waltz, and also with the polka. These differ in name, but there the difference ceases

If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people.

To be, or not to be; that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity of so long life;