Tina Fey

People will say, ‘Oh, fashion magazines are so bad, they’re giving girls a negative message’-but we’re also the fattest country in the world, so it’s not like we’re all looking at fashion magazines and not eating.

It’s just such a tangled-up issue, the way women present themselves [in comedy]-whether or not they choose to put their thumbs in their panties on the cover of Maxim and judge each other back and forth on it. It’s a complicated issue, and we didn’t go much further on saying anything other than to say, ‘Yeah, it’s a complicated issue and we’re all kind of figuring it out as we go.’

I’ll be ready for it to happen and that way it won’t happen. It’s a burden, being able to control situations with my hyper-vigilance, but it’s my lot in life.

Acting is really about showing up that day and telling the writers what you feel like saying.

Ladies gotta say no to their husbands at the movies. They gotta say: ‘No, we are watching back-to-back cancer movies. And then this movie about a cat.’

To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.

Before Twilight, I did any movie that I got offered. But now fans expectations have doubled and I just can’t mess around. Today, I can’t afford to be a part of any movie. I have to question a lot more now before I take a project. After all I can’t disappoint my fans.

News is not a game show. You don’t win a car if you happen to be right.

I’ll take opinions from anyone from Jay-Z to a janitor, and I might value the janitor’s opinion more.

If you are someone, you know, with fame, whatever amount, it’s good to be married to someone who’s not impressed with that at all.

And God help Bruce Springsteen when they decide he’s no longer God… They’ll turn on him, and I hope he survives it.

People today are still living off the table scraps of the sixties. They are still being passed around – the music and the ideas.

I believe ‘ye’ is the most commonly used word in the Bible, and in the Bible it means ‘you’.

An iPhone would be a more coherent president of the United States.

You could put a blond wig on a hot-water heater and some dude would try to f**k it.

I hear the sound of time roaring past me, …And there is no time to lose.

You don’t just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at ‘SNL’ is writing to go after someone.

Music means communication to me. I say ‘listen you people out there, listen to my music, let’s be one.’ Music is a friend to me when I am lonely, when I am blue. You can’t define music ’cause music is cosmos and it knows no barrier or definition. You have to feel music to dig it

It’s more egalitarian on the Internet – anyone can put anything up. But in terms of the money it takes to allow a band to get good, there’s less of it to invest.

I really like comedy that brings people together. There’s a lot of comedies lately that have been at people’s expense or been kind of acidic or mean-spirited. And some folks like that, and I think there’s room for that, but that’s not my style. I like something that makes us all feel closer. Comedy, at its best, can be healing.

Florida, just because you’re shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn’t mean you have to act that way.