Kris Jenner

History’s gonna be harder to make than I thought.

I wanted to be in a band that shared ideas and were in it together.

You can never say you’re big – I don’t think you can ever take anything like that for granted.

I don’t fight for much, but when I fight for something, it’s usually because I think I’m going to be right.

I would say my number one tip is to know that it’s okay to be in love with yourself. That’s not a bad thing. People might think it’s cocky, or arrogant, or selfish – no, that’s not what that means. Being in love with yourself is okay.

My number one thing is that it doesn’t just happen. You shouldn’t feel discouraged if you’re not waking up and feeling amazing about yourself. That’s not necessarily how it works. It doesn’t take one shopping spree to give you that confidence. It’s a developing process. Everyone goes at their own speed… As long as you take every opportunity to learn more about yourself and fall more in love with yourself every day, you’re doing good.

Any woman who diets all the time can’t help but be grouchy. Nobody can be amusing or entertaining on a diet.

At the end of the day, I just do my job. I love my art. But I genuinely want to change the world. I’m very generous, and I really want people to see that I am – that’s really it.

News is not a game show. You don’t win a car if you happen to be right.

Comedy is acting out optimism.

When I started on ‘Saturday Night Live,’ I had the choice of wearing contact lenses, which I had never worn before, or glasses, in order to be able to read the cue cards.

The ladies of comedy now are comfortable dressing up. It’s not forbidden anymore.

It really bothers me when people don’t use coasters. Particularly on my table.

We’ll probably end up doing a terrible crossover, where the Matthew Perry character on the drama rapes my character on the comedy-and then the ‘Law & Order’ team solves the crime.

[on Anthony Weiner] I remember him now… the man whose name is so perfect for the scandal he was caught up in that it rekindled my faith in God.