Amy Poehler

No one looks stupid when they’re having fun!

You have to care about how good you are and how good you feel, but not about how good people think you are or how good people think you look.

Always remember your kid’s name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don’t let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers … for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces.

I like the person who commits and goes all in and takes big swings and then maybe fails; who jumps and falls down, rather than the person who points at the person who fell and laughs. But I do sometimes laugh when people fall down.

I just love bossy women. To me, bossy is not a pejorative term at all. It mans somebody’s passionate and engaged and ambitious and doesn’t mind leading.

You know, as a comedian your body has to be – I need to think of a better term than ‘up for grabs’ – but you kind of use whatever you have to get the laugh. And if you’re worrying about how you look… Vanity is the death of comedy.

It isn’t about how tall you are or how good-looking you are or whether or not you can play football. It’s about whether you can create a relationship.

I’m a little bit afraid to give my heart away right now. It’s very scary. I’m open to it, but I just want to make sure that I’m taking my time.

I probably didn’t handle things as diplomatically as I should.

Relationships are negotiated and if you deal with ultimatums and authority all the time, then you’re not going to get anywhere.

The most beautiful girls wear their hearts on their sleeves and their souls in their smiles.

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

I never felt I was too protective. I felt I was functioning as a dam against the river of sh*t that comes pouring down on artists, and it was a job that I took very seriously.

No one is your friend who demands your silence or denies your right to grow.

If I go into a club now, all the blonde girls leave my corner and all the black girls come into my corner. It’s as if I’m racist towards white girls!

Lasting love and forgiveness are two sides of the same page.

I wasn’t looking to be gay. I was quite upset when I discovered that was part of my life. I wished it would go away. But you can’t change who you are. And I tried to fight it in the beginning. And then I had a cancer scare in the mid-70’s. And that turned out to be a mistake, and I thought, ‘Life is too short.’

To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.

Cherish your human connections – your relationships with friends and family.

All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.

All happy families are alike, but an unhappy family is unhappy after its own fashion.