Amy Poehler

The streets and woods around my house were a perfect setting for fake mischief. I would spend all afternoon pretending I had run away and had to live on my own. I would bring Toll House cookies and a sweatshirt and try to make a fire. I would sneak out side my house at dusk with a pair binoculars and search the streets for murderers. I created scenarios in my head that I always managed to escape from kidnap fantasies where I would wriggle free from the ropes.

It takes years to find your voice and seize your real estate.

I remember Tina Fey wrote a play about Catherine the Great f**king a horse and I thought, ‘That lady is hot stuff, I wanna know her.’

The anticipation for Tina playing Palin was so fun to witness, and she explains it well in her book Fifty Shades of Grey. She totally took on what was expected of her and it was awesome to stand next to her as she killed.

You know, it sounds like I’m bragging in some way, but as far as career stuff, there’s not that much stuff that scares me. I know what I can do well.

When your children arrive, your heart becomes a room with wide open windows.

Friendship, ‘the wine of life,’ said Boswell, should, like a well-stocked cellar, be thus continually renewed. And Dr. Johnson added to this A man, Sir, should keep his friendships in constant repair.

She was always a little crazy, which is why I understand her so well.

Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind.

My dad used to say, ‘You wouldn’t worry so much about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

All happy families are alike, but an unhappy family is unhappy after its own fashion.

Relationships don’t thrive because the guilty are punished, but because the wounded are merciful.

If you’ve gone into a marriage and you haven’t been clear about how you’re going to handle money, how you want to raise kids, who is going to work or stay home or what have you, then you’ve set yourself up for failure.

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.

All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.

I don’t know where to find a good guy. I just think that they’re around and I think you have to be good and at some point you’ll attract that. I really believe that. First, people should stop looking. The looking thing does not work. Just let love find you.

I can replace things, but I could never replace my wife and kids.

Don’t confuse feelings with facts and don’t ignore facts when they come as feelings.

A lover cannot be chosen a la smorgasbord. A lover has to be chosen from soul-craving. To choose just because something mouthwatering stands before you will never satisfy the hunger of the soul-self. And that is what the intuition is for; it is the direct messenger of the soul.

Nothing is so necessary for a young man as the company of intelligent women.

The only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she’s shopping.