Mark Twain

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.

It is just like man’s vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.

One may make their house a palace of sham, or they can make it a home, a refuge.

There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.

Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single kind act is better than a thousand head-bowings in prayer.

[on enlightenment] Body and mind dropped off.

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

I have recently been examining all the known superstitions of the world, and do not find in our particular superstition (Christianity) one redeeming feature. They are all alike founded on fables and mythology.

[On religion:] Wasn’t it invented by man for a kind of solace? It’s as though he had said, ‘I’ll make me a nice comfortable garment to shut out the heat and the cold,’ and then it ends by becoming a strait-jacket.

Your talent is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God.

In the end, only three things matter: How much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.

We talk a lot about hope, helping, and teamwork. Our whole message is that we are more powerful together.

Our whole spiritual transformation brings us to the point where we realize in our own being, we are enough.

There are three books my daughter felt were the most important influences in her life: the Bible, her mother’s cookbook, and her father’s checkbook.

I feel the presence of a higher power. I believe that what you give is what you get. It’s universal law. I believe in the power of prayer and of words. I’ve learned that when you predict that negative things will happen, they do.

Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water.

Did we believe a final Reckoning and Judgment; or did we think enough of what we do believe, we would allow more Love in Religion than we do; since Religion it self is nothing else but Love to God and Man. He that lives in Love lives in God, says the Beloved Disciple: And to be sure a Man can live no where better. It is most reasonable Men should value that Benefit, which is most durable. Now Tongues shall cease, and Prophecy fail, and Faith shall be consummated in Sight, and Hope in Enjoyment; but Love remains.

God is a loving god.